The Ayahuasca Experience – I’d like to start this little piece of ayahuasca information with a warning: it will blow your mind and most likely it will spike your interest to try it out for yourself. To that I say: go ahead, but don’t go in with a naïve attitude that a small cup of ayahuasca can’t be that life changing, right? To the naïve people out there, you have been warned, life won’t be the same as it used to be for you. The people with big ego’s, living in their own little bubble, you have been warned, it will destroy your perception of reality, more so, you will understand better how small you are in this world and that life is much bigger than your own set of problems.
Now, for those of you that have never heard about ayahuasca, which is highly unlikely due to the raising popularity of the brew, I’ll explain to you very shortly what it is.
What is Ayahuasca?
Ayahuasca is a mind altering drug from the Amazon. Native american tribes use it regularly to come into contact with other dimensions which far exceed our own consciousness. The medicine is used to clean our karmic body (also referred to as the pain body), to heal from past trauma and addiction and to raise the consciousness of an individual. All of that can be accomplished with one little drink. But for those who know and understand, this drink shouldn’t be belittled. It’s a sacred medicine which has to be approached with utter respect, otherwise you’ll be in for a though ride! That’s why disciplined and respectfull preparation are key to get the most out of your experience.
My introduction to Ayahuasca
The first time I heard of ayahuasca, was during a documentary on TV, where local celebrities drunk the magical brew deep into the jungle and returned as completely new people. It intrigued me the way they were describing there experiences. Many would say they lost their mind, now I know they did, but that it isn’t something you should be afraid of! I was about 16 at that time and many years past before it popped back into my life. It showed up in my watch list of Youtube and as I already heard of it on TV, I was interested in gaining more information about the brew and the mysterious visions that it gave to people. At that time – fastforward – 23 years now and I was on a crosspoint in life. Last few years I’d been pursuing personal success and just like all of us trying to find who we are and what we like to do. That last thing has never been easy for me. Every goal I’ve been pursuing didn’t fulfill me in the end. I knew intuitively that money, success, material gain wouldn’t make me happy or satisfied. And after 2-3 years of chasing my own tail I felt lost. I didn’t know how to move on, what my next step should be, what would fulfill me? What is my mission in life? That’s when I decided, for the sake of learning to know myself on a deeper level and -maybe, if the stories were right- I could find an answer to these questions by participating in an ayahuasca ceremony.
How bad could it be?
So I decided to do some research and found out about the Sacred Voyage, a dutch organisation specialized in giving ayahuasca ceremonies. As I’m from belgium, it wasn’t too far for me to go there. I booked a ceremony, prepared myself for 2 weeks with meditation and proper diet and off we went. I’m not the kind of person that is easily afraid for unpredictable experiences, but I was very curious about what was about to happen and if I would gain a deeper insight into my questions. We gathered there, I met the mentors that were going to guide us trough our journey and the other people that also decided to partake in the ceremony. We were with 12 people in total to experience ayahuasca. Altough it’s an individual journey, the atmosphere and guidance are very important parts of your experience. I can only thank the organisation for guiding us so profesionally and lovingly throughout the trip.
My first ayahuasca experience
We received our first drink, a small cup not much bigger than a shot glass. First thing that went through my mind was: is this going to give me all of what I’ve heard about this drink? Forgive my naïtivity in that moment, I immediately underestimated the potency of this brew as you can see. I drank my first glass, it has a very bitter, earthy flavor to it, not very pleasing to the palate. I sat down in a meditative position, ready for the effects to kick in. I was well rested and in a good mood, so I felt ready for what was about to come…
After 30 minutes in I started to feel the ayahuasca kick in. It was very subtle, first of all I experienced an altered state of vision. I could zoom in into objects and see the environment way sharper than in my normal state. I became overwhelmed by a deep sense of love. We all have the feeling of being separated from each other, unable to connect with our environment. I experienced what someone would describe as non-duality. I saw myself as complete and I became 1 with the environment and the people around me. I could fully feel what other people that took the brew were going through. Some with a very pleasant experience just like me, others who went through a very difficult and dark period.
With closed eyes, I began to see beautiful patterns and geometric structures in many colors. Describing the visual effects of ayahuasca is difficult because they are so complex and miraculous that words fail to describe it. Sometimes we get pictures of our past or images that have a certain meaning for us. That was not the case in my first ceremony, but that certainly happens. The visual observations are very different from person to person and every ceremony is also unique to the previous one.
If you are afraid of spiders, it may be that ayahuasca will show you a giant spider or many small spiders. She does that to help you out of your fear and to heal this specific trauma. You can be in a fight with a dragon. That might be the “figurative” dragon that you have to kill. Others have contact with UFOs and aliens. After the ceremony it’s hard to describe what you just have seen, yet most people can place their visual experiences somewhere and realize that it had a deeper meaning for them.
During my ayahuasca journey, I experienced infinity. More specifically the infinity of time and space. Everything and anything existed at the same time and time being timeless. I could only be aware of the ‘now’.
After about 2 beautiful hours, ayahuasca showed me her dark side. I was overwhelmed by a dark energy. I entered into a dimension of emptiness and malice. Visually I literally saw black before my eyes. I was not really prepared for the unpredictability of ayahuasca at that time, bad experiences now I know are just a part of one’s experience. The same journey can show you the highest heights of love, but love is something that intersects two sides. Love can also be painful. By showing this contrast, I could get a better picture of what love exactly means. That if we choose love and light above pain and darkness, we can all achieve dimensions where there is more love.
My intention in this ceremony was to find out my life purpose. Before this ceremony, I was already busy with daily meditations, detachment of things that stopped me, experimenting with different professions, and contacting people from the spiritual world who knew more about this in my daily life. Still, I had some doubt about what area of life I really wanted to help people in, and apparently ayahuasca came in contact with me for this particular reason. It wanted me to go on with her and share her magic with other people. She specifically told me to organize ayahuasca ceremonies for other people so that more and more people could learn from her.
She also showed me how important INTENTION is if you are busy with your daily activities. Why do you not feel good at work? Why are you stressed or frustrated? That’s because we’re looking for love in the wrong places. We attach ourselves to certain activities that don’t add and value to the quality of our life. Certain jobs, people or situations are simply an obstacle for your creativity and vitality, we deny ourselves the chance of a happy life.
In your life you receive emotional ‘tips’ that help you to move into the right direction. If we ignore these emotions, we move further away from our happiness and essentially from ourselves, we end up in a downward spiral. We have to make sure we do things out of love. She showed me the importance of compassion and gratitude in your life and that we need to listen very carefully to our heart! I’m very grateful I could receive this message so clearly.
The ayahuasca experience was concluded with a childish, reborn look on the world. At the end of the ceremony, I admired the space I was in, the beautiful people around me, and I rediscovered my own body. I looked with admiration at my own hands, I stared at the disco ball on the ceiling and I ate pineapple cubes, as if it was the first time I experienced eating. This ‘reincarnation’ of myself had given me many insights, a new goal to work towards and enormous appreciation and gratitude for life. I became aware of my place in life and my life purpose. Therefore, I am very pleased to share this experience with you as well.
I recently started my own ayahuasca ceremony organisation, my GIANT within, where you can experience the magical world of ayahuasca for yourself. This name correctly describes the experience you can expect. You will discover your own giant within who is always there with you, a giant hidden in plain sight so to speak.
Lastly, I want to share with you that ayahuasca will always come in the right place, at the right time for you. Ayahuasca will always give you what you need most during your journey with her and all you can do is to let the experience come to you. Lots of love to you and have a great journey!